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Printer-Friendly ModeDefining feminism not a matter of superiority or inferiority
September 21, 2009 —
What does it mean? This past summer, someone posed a question that I had never answered before: “What does feminism mean to you?”
The question caught me off guard. Though I have always considered myself a “feminist” because of my strong advocacy of women’s rights and my independent character, I had never been asked to define my belief system before. But what exactly does feminism mean?
When the word “feminist” is mentioned, the picture that comes to the minds of many people is that of a short-haired angry woman who refuses to be confined by a bra and would like nothing better than to eradicate men from the earth, leaving nothing but their sperm for reproduction purposes.
I have to admit that though I have never looked or acted like this radical “feminist,” her wrath has filtered through my body many times.
“Don’t worry your pretty little head.”
“I don’t want you to break a nail.”
With every condescending comment I hear, the stereotypical angry “feminist” within me surfaces.
Though in moments of frustration I often find myself wanting to take away the suffrage, property rights and any other form of personal identity from ignorant sexists, I don’t believe that the creation of a system of discrimination is the answer.
Therefore, I decided I didn’t belong in the category of the angry and retaliatory “feminist” that gives independent women a bad name.
This forced me to create my own definition of myself as a feminist.
The concept of feminism can be summarized in one simple yet cliché word: respect. Feminism defines a struggle that extends to all facets of life in which a woman fights to gain two different types of respect: 1) the same respect as a human being that males receive and 2) enough selfrespect to raise herself above the standards that have been set by a male-dominated society.
The stereotypical “feminist” would lobby for straight-edged, noexceptions equality. However, equality in this sense can never be achieved because it ignores the fact that men and women are fundamentally different.
For example, if I were a professional boxer, I wouldn’t expect to be placed in the same ring as a male that was the same weight and size as me. I and millions of other women wouldn’t want our allowance of a maternity leave to be taken away simply because males don’t have the ability to give birth.
Neither of these situations makes females inferior, but they do require separate considerations. The way out of sexism is a respectful acknowledgement, understanding and acceptance of the fact that the differences between the sexes cannot be defined in terms of superiority and inferiority.
The second part of myself as a feminist involves the struggle to find enough self-respect to overcome the desire to fulfill the standards created by, literally, “the man.” I shouldn’t have to feel like I am fat just because models are starving themselves to please the sexual desires of men around the world. I shouldn’t have to abandon intensity just because it intimidates my male counterparts. With enough self-respect, these “shouldn’t have to’s” become “don’t have to’s.”
This belief system is thus how I define myself as a feminist – a constant struggle for respectful acceptance of the differences that my gender offers as well as respectful acceptance of myself.
Though I often become frustrated and angry with the sexism that still occurs, neither radical discrimination nor straight-edged equality are the answers to the female’s problem.
Knowing what I believe, I can act in a more definite way to encourage others like myself to define themselves not in a category of “feminists” but within their own ideals and beliefs.