American Idol contestants, judges, untalented
submitted by Patrick O'Hara
January 22, 2007 —
Anyone out there watch American Idol? No? Me either. Yet, the massive amounts of media coverage the show gets makes it impossible for a person like myself to know nothing about it. And, based on what I've seen and heard about American Idol, I can safely conclude that it's the worst thing ever created. Remember Roseanne (you can probably still catch re-runs if you're that determined to find something stupid to watch)? Even as irritating as Roseanne's voice is and how that crappy theme song is, I would still argue that American Idol is worse.
If you've been in a coma or on a desert island for the past six years, you should consider yourself lucky because you have never heard of this tragedy. But, since I'm envious of your ignorance, here's a low down of how the show works: normal, everyday people who think they have talent (because their grandmothers say so) perform in front of three judges (has-beens), who decide whether or not they're worthy of moving up the entertainment ladder.
If a contestant passes the trials, they have the chance to go on to the finals, which are aired on television. The viewers then get to vote for which contestant they thought did best during the finals. The one who receives the most votes becomes, in turn, the American Idol. Please.
There are a lot of reasons why I hate this show, besides the premise.
First of all, the people who actually watch the show and vote end up choosing no-talent hacks as the American Idols. Seriously. Another reason why the show is just plain stupid is the fact that the judges only adhere to a strict form of music: snorecore.
For instance, you don't see many heavy metal, ska, hardcore, or klezmer bands trying out for American Idol. Heck, as for as I've seen and heard, not many bands even try out for the show. Although, to be fair, if a band was trying out for the spot that would mean that Americans would be subject to something known as "original music" which is something rarely heard on American Idol, a radically inferior television show.