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Printer-Friendly ModeBad Roommate Blues II
November 2, 2009 —
College is meant to be one of the best experiences of your life. Given that, not every moment of it is going to be pleasant. One of the biggest adjustments in the transition from high school can be the roommates, and freshmen seem to have the most difficulties. As a freshman, you might find yourself living on campus, adjusting to a new lifestyle and sharing enclosed space with people you don’t know, including some you might not care to.
But there is a silver lining to enduring bad roommates, as long as they are not affecting your learning. As the saying goes, without hate, there would be no love. Well, without annoying people, there would be no opportunity to gain patience or understanding.
In the following stories, students who wish to remain anonymous recall their experiences with the bad roommate blues.
There are all kinds of people who might drive you crazy, but two are most notorious.
• The Clingy Roommate — This one would follow you every time you left your dorm and never allow you any alone time.
• The Alcoholic — This roommate would spend all night partying, vomit all over the room and regularly black out.
These extremes are not the norm — but in the rare times you get into a bad situation, what should be done? It’s best to not live in a war zone. This means making the effort to at least get along with your roommate.
Methods to follow:
1. First, if you don’t want to flat out say they annoy you, try dropping hints for them to pick up on.
2. Talk to your resident assistant. (That’s what they’re there for.)
3. Still not getting the picture? Then tell them directly what’s going on. Word to the wise: stay calm. After this conversation you still have to live with your roommate for a while.
4. Compromise. Give your comments and let your roommate respond with his or hers.
In a worst case scenario — where none of these attempts work — you can talk to your housing service to get a room change.
If you can tolerate a less-than-perfect roommate, the benefits of putting up with them can last a lifetime. Here are some positive payoffs Alice, Tom and Kelly say they have gotten from their experiences.
• “Terrible roommates help you build resilience, flexibility and adaptability. No one gets good at compromise and diplomacy without practice.
• Bad roommates encourage you to leave the dorm room, get out there and meet new people.
• Terrible roommates make you re-examine your own behavior. A roommate’s dirty laundry and questionable hygiene motivate you to do laundry and take daily showers.
Despite the horror stories surrounding freshman year roommate pairings, chances are your roommate will not be a psychopath or a maniac or a lunatic or a total jerk with no redeeming qualities. Most likely, your roommate is just a normal person. And, as many normal people find when trying to survive in a shared space, odds are pretty good that you will drive each other crazy occasionally, or for some cases, quite often.
But it’s worth the effort to work it out, because sharing your first dorm room with your first roommate is a unique rite of passage; it should be nothing less than memorable.