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Printer-Friendly ModeYour essential guide to all things Halloween
October 12, 2009 —
Even though our consumerdriven society has stocked Halloween decorations on store shelves since August, mid-October is upon us, meaning it’s officially time to kick the holiday spirit into overdrive.
Halloween and college go together like tailgating and football. This holiday ain’t just for the kiddies, and there are ample opportunities to have a fun, spooky time, loaded with nostalgic traditions and sweet, sweet candy corns.
If you need help shaking off your Scrooge-esque demeanor that has carried over from last December, take a gander at the following top 10 ways to have a guaranteed spook-tacular time this Halloween.
10.Carve a pumpkin. This is the nobrainer. Who doesn’t love the annual feel of pumpkin guts oozing through one’s hand and hopefully staying out of one’s hair? Check out The Pumpkin Directory to put a location on a pumpkin patch near you.
Printable carving patterns are everywhere on the Web. Skip the typical facial features carved in basic geometrical shapes and challenge yourself to a carving of Ghandi or John and Kate plus eight (also available in Kate plus eight or John plus nanny).
9. Watch classic Halloween sitcom specials. Remember when Jill and Tim Taylor went to predictable lengths to trump each other’s pranks? Or when The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror was still funny? Keep an eye on the TV Guide for these gems.
8. Decorate your living quarters. But don’t feed into the consumerism frenzy. A simple glowing Jack-olantern lamp here and a bowl of candy there will set the mood.
But if you maintain the “go big or go home” attitude, by all means, decorate up a storm and host the social event of the year. Just remember you have to store all that stuff someplace on November 1.
7. Go to a haunted house/ cornfield/barn/dentist office/ furniture store/etc. Try Scareyou. com for a listing of such events in Michigan. You know for a fact that law forbids the man with the chainsaw from chasing you with an actual, functional chainsaw, but when has this ever prevented anyone from scream-running for the exit?
6. Make those Pillsbury cookies that come in a tube with ghosts and pumpkins on them. They’re simply delicious.
5. Rent bad, low budget zombie movies. The cheesier the better. Check out the Bay Road Family Video selection of hysterical flicks particular to this genre with titles like Rebirth of the Non-living Undead 4. Take bets with your friends on which one of the sexy teens will die first.
4. Rent good zombie movies. They certainly exist. And don’t limit yourself to just zombies. Stephen King’s depiction of some kids in a cornfield (here we call that scenario Saturday night) has the potential to make the most fearless among us regress to bedwetting.
3. Raise the dead. Two words: Ouija board. Go authentic, though. The pink and purple remake of the game sold at Toys ‘R Us will set you back $25 and fail to summon anything but whispers of “We should have rented Ghostbusters.”
2. Distribute candy. You are absolutely too old to go knocking on doors to satisfy your sweet tooth, but if you get a chance, you should definitely experience Halloween on the reverse side of the exchange. Don’t give out pennies or toothbrushes unless you have time to scrape egg yolks off your siding the next morning.
1. Wear a clever costume. At the risk of having male readers flood my desk with hate mail, I’m not going to say “Absolutely do not sport a costume that would shame Snow White into changing her name or garner Tinkerbell so much applause her head would explode.” (Come to think of it, Tinkerbell’s apparel is skimpy enough to begin with).
I will simply suggest that female readers consider thinking outside the box and saving some money by drafting up an idea for a costume that doesn’t fit into a glove compartment.
Funny portrayals of pop culture can be just as sexy. And you might stay warmer, too.